Together through cancer: a daughter's journey

The First Week

I had intended to start writing about this chapter of my life a week earlier, but for some reason, I kept myself busy and put it off. Perhaps deep down, I knew that putting this story on paper would make it all too real. I still can't believe that this nightmare is happening to us. Every night before I fall asleep, I hope that I will wake up the next day in Canada, in my old bed, and feel relieved that it was all just a bad dream. I would then go about my day, preparing lunchboxes for my kids.

I don't know who will read this blog, and I'm not writing it to gain popularity. I simply need an outlet to ease my troubled mind. This is my form of antidepressant therapy. And if you find yourself in a similar situation, perhaps it can help you feel less alone. Many people are suffering just like you.

Receiving a cancer diagnosis is incredibly challenging. It's difficult for the person who is sick, as well as for their family. Facing the reality that we are vulnerable, that we could lose our loved ones, and that we have no control over our health and bodies is truly terrifying. After the initial shock, we must begin to process this diagnosis on our own and together.

When I arrived at my mom's place and saw her sick, I was equally shocked. She is 70 years old, never sick, always active and on the go. But now, she's not herself. In the first few days, she had a fever every afternoon, intense night sweats, lots of crying, and zero energy. It broke my heart to see her like this. In the mornings, I had to give her injections of blood thinner. It was already difficult for me to do it, but seeing her face in pain made it even harder. It's not the injection itself that bothered me - I work in healthcare, so I'm used to it. The most challenging part was giving my own mother this injection and witnessing her suffering.

When I arrived, I had grand plans of changing her lifestyle, boosting her immune system, and helping her beat this cancer in just a few weeks. I always listen to health gurus, and I, too, try to live a healthy lifestyle. Lately, I've even started making my own creams, soaps, and cleaning agents at home to avoid chemicals. A few months ago, I believed I had the power to save anyone from any illness. I was so proud of myself, thinking that by watching videos about naturopathy, I had discovered the secret to life.

I arrived and immediately started changing everything in my mom's place - no more white sugar, white flour, or white bread. Instead, I filled her kitchen with fruits and vegetables. I bought a juicer to make her fresh, healthy juices to boost her immune system. I also purchased extra vitamins, honey with propolis, chia seeds, and avocados - everything I believed could help her. But... and this "but" is a crucial part of our journey in helping a sick person. After a few days of following this new lifestyle, her stomach started to feel upset. Her appetite wasn't great, especially because she didn't enjoy the new foods. Mentally, she was struggling with the changes I had made to her diet. Even though I loved and ate everything with her, I had to realize that she is not me, and it's nearly impossible to completely change someone's lifestyle all at once, especially when they are very sick. Perhaps it was due to the cancer, or maybe she simply couldn't bring herself to try unfamiliar food. At first, I felt frustrated and angry, but then I realized that if I truly wanted to help her, I needed to feed her. It was better for her to eat her normal food with appetite than to suffer from a bad stomach. So, I had to adjust my plan. She's telling me every day what she wishes to eat and I cook it for her.

The first week was challenging, but it was also filled with hope. I reached out to an old friend for a surgeon recommendation and managed to secure an appointment for the following week. I shared my plan with my mom - we would go to the appointment, and I would plead with the surgeon to perform the surgery as soon as possible. The cancer had to leave her body, and then she could undergo chemotherapy. After that, we would return to Canada to recover. It seemed like an easy and fast plan, brimming with hope. However, as they say, "Man plans, and God decides." This was certainly the case for us. But that is a story for the second week...